Has the Cowboy’s money made them one of the best teams in the NFL?
1) Contrast and compare: Three days ago, the Cowboys were on top of their game. They had only lost one game, and were ranked 11th. Now, during this bye week, they are ranked 17th, as they lost to the Lions. Back in the older days, the Cowboys weren’t motivated enough. nowadays, Tony Romo is payed $9,000,000.
2) Question: What do you do if you have a bad football team? You pay the players and coaches more and give them a better training facility. This is the story of the Dallas Cowboy’s life. If you pay attention to their games, they are mainly good for two reasons. These are Jerry Jones and his money. To pay the players and coaches more wins games. Take away the money and the cowboys are just kids playing ball in the streets.
3) Direct address lead: If you are a big Cowboy’s fan, you may be very disappointed. The Cowboy’s are now realized to not be any of a good team, only a rich one. if you think about it, how many times have the Cowboys won a game on a decent pay? Not many. Now, if you pay them more, games are won. The same thing happens with the coaches. If you pay the coaches a more than decent amount, the games are won. This money is also used for better training facilities and places to practice.
I liked the contrast and compare. It shows how the Cowboys have changed over a weeks time. Elaborate more on why it matter that Tony Romo is getting payed $9,000,000.
ReplyDeleteI liked the direct adress because it really talks to the readers who are cowboys fans that the players need more money. Elaborate more on the performance of athletes in correlation to the pay
ReplyDeleteI like the last one the best, it's not as convoluted as the other two
ReplyDeletei like your third lead the best because it really attracts people in Texas since several people in Texas are Dallas cowboys fans. This is a great lead for your target audience.
ReplyDelete-sammy
i like your compare and contrast on how you show how the cowboys have done and how they have gone down in ranking from 11Th to 17Th and how you say how much Tony Romo gets payed but why does he get payed that much
ReplyDeleteYour first lead is choppy and repetitive. As a matter of fact, I don't even think that the second part is necessary. The second post is cliche, so I would go with the third one because it is the most creative. However it doesn't read well, and I think that it still has a long way to go.
ReplyDelete--SUSHI MASTA